It Can Be Difficult to Reason with Emotions
Walking away with a feeling of “I should not have said that” or “I should have said this instead” indicates that you reacted on emotion rather than reason.
These moments often occur when I get into heated discussions and negotiations or find myself in stressful situations with emotional individuals.
If you are in a situation where you are being outsmarted or outraged, it might seem like it is necessary to react in the moment because of the urgency of others.
I’ve learned to treat these moments as opportunities for insight into my subconscious because they provide you with a benchmark for your presence when it really matters.
Once, the Buddha was confronted by an angry man who did not approve of anything that the Buddha spoke of and represented. Instead of reacting to the accusation, the Buddha was patient until the angry man had finished his rant.
Then he asked: “If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?” The angry man looked confused and answered: “I don’t see what this has to do with anything, but the gift would belong to the person who tried to give it away.” The Buddha answered: “Yes, and anger works that same way.”
Obviously, we cannot defuse most conflicts in modern-day life with a Buddha saying, but we can allow ourselves time to anchor our emotions.
Sit with this: Concentrate on prolonging the exact emotional state you have right now. Love, envy, stress, anxiety, whatever it is - just sit with it.
Unless it is trauma, most emotions have a life of a few minutes. Additionally, once identified, emotions become nuances to your state of mind and not a definitive state of mind.
You can recognise anger in you and still act kindly. You can recognise love in you and still act strictly. You can recognise anxiety in you and still act courageously.
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