One thing is certain about the future; it won't be calmer than the present. The digital age will present itself with more solicitation of our attention and an even more unbalanced information diet. To secure a future for your career, family, and yourself, you must learn how to become the calmest person in the room. We are here to help you with that.
- Lisa Braun November 2021
We have made Outcalm with only one vision in mind. To help you depart from and arrive at moments of deliberate calmness. We believe that to truly thrive in the 21st century; you must understand how you can be the calmest person in the room, whether for your career, family, or yourself.
The Story of Outcalm
The word Outcalm came to us in a moment of outrage where emotions were flying, and things were falling apart. Alex was working for a startup and found himself in a heated negotiation with an outraged individual doing everything they could to make me panic so he could win. When he went off the video call, it was midnight in Turkey, and he collapsed on the bed feeling hopeless. When he told his partner Lisa about his troubles, she told him the following:
"Why are you trying to outsmart them? You do not solve this matter by being smarter. You need to Outcalm them because they clearly cannot do it themselves."
Alex realized he was on the verge of outrage. These ruthless and smart individuals used every trick in the book to outsmart each other and gain the upper hand. Nobody was being present anymore, merely reactive.
Alex was reacting, too - and that very much in a way that did not align with his negotiation intentions. All this resulted in more outrage and further from a solution.
He decided to become the calmest person in the room. He pursued calmness. He decided to Outcalm himself and others: no more outsmarting, no more outrage.
Becoming the Calmest Person in the Room
Alex focused on being present in the outrage, aligning with his intention to slow down and pay attention to his urge to react. To get closer to the tension in the room and why the opposing party was so much on edge, he posed himself the question:
"If I am to be calm, how is it that I am outraging others?"
On the next call, he joined the room with only one intention. To be the calmest person in the room and to not create more outrage in others. From the beginning, the opposing party took the stage, and the debate from the last meeting was taken up as if it had never ended. When it became Alex's turn to talk, he took a different turn.
Alex summarized what had been said and added to the end of his summary: "Please let me know if I understand your terms correctly and how I have treated you unfairly. I would like to understand my own bias on this situation."
From this point on, the conversation changed. The opposing party listed terms they felt were unfair, but the dialogue calmed down. The energy in the room had been deflated by one person deciding to absorb the hostility and turn it into his competitive advantage. After 60 minutes, they had reached fair terms.
A week-long panic attack suddenly ended, and all it took was to work on being the calmest person in the room. Alex has successfully offset panic in the room.
What is Outcalm?
Outcalm is an adaption of many practices, and we do not want to label it as one thing. It can be treated as a philosophy like stoicism, a meditation, morale like Leo Tolstoys three questions, a leadership model, or a decision-making framework.
Outcalm is: “to succesffuly approach the future departing from and arriving at moments of deliberate calmness.”
In all instances, it is a reminder to seek to be the calmest person in the room wether this be in the meeting room, around the dinner table or when you are alone with yourself and your thoughts.
We hope you will help define your personal version of Outcalm because we believe that if you can help to offset panic in our world, our future will be a calmer place for all of us.
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